Compliments and Criticism

Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personal. If they tell us how wonderful we are, they are not saying that because of us. We must accept that we are wonderful regardless of others opinions.

If someone gives us criticism and says, “Hey you look fat,” don’t take it personally, because the truth is that all humans are dealing with their own feelings, perceptions and opinions. Their judgment is not superior, they are only expressing a personal standard. Tastes change, sometimes from minute to minute, day to day or year to year. It is likely that another person’s remark is a actually expressed for themselves, not for us.

Their words are serving their own selfish purposes and have nothing to do with us and they have nothing to do with reality. They are only human and don’t know any better then us. Their judgment about the objective nature of life is not right, it’s just their opinion at this moment. Their view on right or wrong is subjective and relative to their experiences.

We can’t argue taste. Is red a better color then blue? Is steak better then chicken? These are preferences. No one has any standing to really know what is best and have no absolute authority on telling us how things “ought or should” be.

I do not take it personal when someone says, “Aaron you are wonderful” and I also don’t take it personal when someone says, “Aaron you are awful.” I know that when people are pleased they will say, “Aaron you are such a great help,” and if people are displeased they will say, “Aaron your such an idiot.” Either way it does not affect me because I trust my own judgment and know what is best is relative. I don’t need to get the approval of others’ because I know my strengths and limitations. I am aware of my human imperfections and accepted my mistakes.

I can acknowledge my success and reward my own efforts despite the absence of anyone else’s recognition. I do not depend on others to say, “Aaron you doing so well,” or “Why don’t you do better.” No, I don’t take it personally. Whatever other people think or whatever they feel is their problem, not mine. I know it is about how they see the world and find meaning to events in their life. It is nothing personal because they are dealing with themselves, not me.

Other people are going to have their own opinions according to their own perception of circumstances. Therefore nothing they think or say is about me, it is really about them.

Photo by Barbara Bonanno BNNRRB

Click to visit original source at PsychCentral

Shared by: Aaron Karmin, LCPC, Contributing Blogger

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