Cynthia: “I just don’t trust him anymore. There’s no point in our even trying to work things out until Tom starts acting more respectfully towards me and shows me that I can trust him”. This wasn’t the first time that Cynthia had concluded that her marriage was in big trouble,
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Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers January 19, 2018
Linda: Most couples wait too long to get help. Unnecessary suffering occurs in secrecy and isolation when you are too embarrassed to ask for assistance. The time to get help for your marriage is when one (not both) of you feels the need for it. Putting this agreement in place
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers January 16, 2018
Linda: Dora was married for a year when her husband Sean left her with a ten-month old baby girl. She felt lost, lonely and terrified that she couldn’t make it on her own. Dora believed that she would be permanently stuck in her empty feelings of loneliness. Like so many
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers January 12, 2018
“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions, the soon forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a gentle word, a heartfelt compliment.” ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Linda: A good marriage is one of the life-factors most strongly associated and consistently associated with happiness. Good relationships
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers January 9, 2018
Linda: My husband Charlie and I studied the happiest couples we could find, interviewing over 50 couples. These couples were the voice of experience, having been married for an average of 30 years. They had all created exemplary relationships in the many different forms that great relationships can take. We
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers January 7, 2018
For those of you who haven’t yet had the pleasure of reading our book, Secrets of Great Marriages , this is a kind of Cliff Notes version. My husband Charlie and I interviewed 50 happy couples and chatted informally with many more. Our goal was to come up with practical
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers January 5, 2018
Linda: One afternoon’s back-to-back appointments demonstrated that different individuals can need strikingly different things in order to feel loved. In the first session, Claire sobbed that she didn’t feel loved by her husband, Matt. He, in turn, expressed bewilderment and frustration, stating that he just couldn’t understand why she was
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers December 29, 2017
Differences don’t have to turn into conflict. Linda: It’s an old saying, but it’s still true, that when it comes to relationships: “differences are inevitable, but conflict is optional.” Differences have to do with varying points of view, styles, or tendencies. Conflict results when one or both partners attempt to
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers December 22, 2017
An effective communication technique. Linda: Sandwich is defined as an item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with meat, cheese, or other filling between them, eaten as a light meal, or something that is constructed like or has the form of a sandwich. When some difficult information must
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers December 18, 2017
And how do I find out? Linda: There really are some mismatched pairs. I am remembering a woman I saw for counseling after a breakup. She had fallen in love with a man who she adored. They had so many interests in common, wonderful sexual compatibility and laughed a lot
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers December 14, 2017
Linda: My husband thinks we should get the trophy for the most improved couple. We got together when we were so young that we didn’t have many clues about what a good marriage looked like. Neither my parents nor his had a wholesome marriage so we didn’t have a model.
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers December 11, 2017
Linda: As we approach the end of the year, I find myself doing what I usually do at this time of year, stopping to pause and reflect upon the past twelve months and giving though to what I have experienced this year. I try to let myself consider the full
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers December 5, 2017
Setting boundaries. Linda: When a partnership is in trouble, we can get to the point where we can no longer continue with the lack of respect being shown to us about any areas of our partnership, it is time for change. The time has come for an up-level in our
Read More Shared by Linda Bloom, LCSW, & Charlie Bloom, MSW, Contributing Bloggers December 1, 2017